Monday, February 19, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
She that toucheth penis shall be defiled therewith.
When giving happy endings at the dungeon (before I was a bodyrub girl), we were required to wear rubber gloves or have the client put a condom on. For me this worked well, as I was recently engaged and felt that the thin distance of latex kept me morally safe from what is considered cheating. Never mind the fact that I was peeing on their faces, whipping their balls, and screwing them with strap-ons - the legal and ethical codes of actually touching a penis until it comes is considered more obscene than fantastical torture.
Later I had a brief stint with an erotic wrestling studio. This was the kind of place where men would go to have fake wrestling matches with bikini clad women. You know how we women really like to show a man who's who when we sit on their faces! Anyway, when we girls inevitably won , we get the poor defenseless man off by hand. This was my first experience with an uncovered hj, and it was a bit liberating. It was nice to avoid the akward "glove or condom?" (paper or plastic?) question and get them off and out the door more quickly. Yet I became meticulous when checking my hands for tiny cuts and started scrubbing my hands with the hottest soapy water I could bear.
By the time I started doing bodyrub, I became careful, but not overly OCD about the cleanup. While hand sanitizer is applied several times a day, it is not only after a session. I think I have far more to worry about germ-wise with the other contacts my hands make in NYC: elevator buttons, subway poles, door knobs, dog parks, grocery cart handles, pocket change...
With this job, it's required to be as clean as possible, but a psycho-neurotic germaphobe will not survive. If you think you can wash your naughtiness away, you are mistaken!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Freelancing, Erotic Style
You hear it all the time in New York City. Freelancing is not as easy as it seems. Those independent and artistic spirits who are drawn to an office-less, boss-less career are the same types who have trouble creating structure in their day.
When I quit the bodyrub spa to work for myself, I imagined having more money rolling in while keeping my home immaculate, creating home cooked cuisines, and taking on several crafty activities. Although the money rolled in, I became increasingly lazy. I have always been the type who naturally wakes up at 7am to run the dog and blend a smoothie. Then suddenly I morphed into the other type... I began having trouble getting into the shower before noon, snacking from the cupboards instead of cooking, and taking luxurious afternoon naps with my mutt. Business began to hurt. I couldn't go to an outcall if I was unshowered and hungry with an anxious pup! I finally created a weekly schedule that allows me to get everything done before noon... but it's not easy because I'm a very laid back boss.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Top 10 Annoying Client Questions
*this is NOT how I really answer them!
Q: Can you be at my house in 5 minutes?
A: Sure! My ad says 2 hours notice, but for you, I'll just hop on my magic carpet!
Q: Can you wear 4 inch white patent leather heels, a black silk pencil skirt, a fitted red button up blouse, etc, etc...
A: Ummm, I provide bodyrub, not a fashion show.
Q: What's the difference between a 1 hour session and a 2 hour session?
A: 60 minutes
Q: What's your REAL name? You can tell me.
A: If I told you, I'd have to kill you.
Q: WOW! If you make that much an hour, you must make over $500,000 a year!
A: Yes, with the help of my magic carpet, I work 8 hours a day 5 days a week. You sure are smart for a lawyer!
Q: Do your parents know what you do?
A: Of course. They have a topless photo of me on their fire mantle.
Q: So, now that we're friends, do you wanna just hang out and have sex with me casually?
A: Yeah, let's get that burdensome "money part" out of the way.
Q: Why doesn't my wife act as sweet and sexy as you?
A: Try paying her.
Q: You must see a lot of smelly, fat, annoying guys. Right?
A: Yes, they're all horrible except for you my darling prince.
Q: I don't believe it's natural for men to be with one woman. Don't you agree?
A: Is that why you got married Mr Science?
Let's get this party started! FAQ
Okay - the title of this blog and post is a little tongue in cheek. The first thing you need to know about me is my work life may be different from yours, but it really isn't that much of an "adventure". I started this blog so that I can vent since my friends and family don't know what I do. I'm going to give myself a little interview for your pleasure.
What exactly do you do?
There are so many names for what I do: tantra bodyrub, alternative relaxation therapy,rub & tug, sensual bodyrub/bodywork, happy ending... A misused title would be anything that includes the work "massage" since I do not have a license to practice in NY. One could get in arrested for practicing massage without one. I do, however give authentic deep tissue bodyrub in the nude and "relieve" my client at the end of the session. Most of of the session focuses on the rest of the body: scalp, back, feet, fingers, everything! I work for myself as an outcall service at upscale residences and hotels.
What don't you do?
I don't do what those in the sex industry call full-service or extras. This means sex of any kind, even oral! I like to do my work hands on only.
Why do guys want that? Why don't they just hire a hooker?
There are various reasons why men prefer bodyrub over escorts. Here are a few: totally safe from STDs, you don't have to do anything but lay there, the good-looking bodyrub girls are cheaper than the good looking escorts, you get a spa experience with candles/music/muscle rub (yes, men like that!), many men don't consider it cheating, etc.
How did you start?
When I graduated college I was struggling to stay on top of bills and ridiculous NY rent. I wasn't able to enjoy the city and I almost felt like moving to a more boring, but cheaper city. One day while looking at Craigslist for office jobs, I came across an ad for an S&M dungeon for $100 and hour. I joked to my then fiance that I would apply. He said, "why not? I had an ex girlfriend who did it and loved whipping men for money." I was surprised he didn't mind, so I got an interview and was hired the next day. It wasn't what I expected. It was mostly sensual roleplay (teacher/mommy/schoolgirl) and I was required to "help them" by hand at the end. I later discovered this isn't normal for a dungeon and I felt I was exerting a lot of psychological energy doing sometimes disgusting work for less money than a bodyrub parlor. I quit the dungeon and started working for a small parlor out of a high rise apartment. It was a perfect fit - the men were upper class, normal, and mostly good looking Wall St types. The environment was relaxing and I made far more money than the in the kink biz. Although I look back at the S&M work with repulsion, I certainly learned the art of keeping my clients obedient!
So... your husband knows what you do?
Yep! It's not something we really talk about in detail. We've been together over 5 years and have a very healthy monogamous relationship. I actually don't think I could do it without him. Because I'm married, I have no desire to slip into full-service work and I also feel safer being aware that he knows where I am just in case my client ends up being psycho. And yes, we keep our money separate. He has his own career.
Is it dangerous?
I've only come across annoying men. :) On top of my husband knowing where I am (I call him before & after a session) I have a pretty good screening process. I know there are risks, but I face more risks when I ride my bike in traffic.
Do you like it?
My only regret is I didn't start sooner! I love being able to make my own hours and pay for everything I need. I'm not in this for the long-run, so I'm saving to start my own home business and start a family (boring, right?).
I have more questions.
Go ahead and ask! :-D
What exactly do you do?
There are so many names for what I do: tantra bodyrub, alternative relaxation therapy,rub & tug, sensual bodyrub/bodywork, happy ending... A misused title would be anything that includes the work "massage" since I do not have a license to practice in NY. One could get in arrested for practicing massage without one. I do, however give authentic deep tissue bodyrub in the nude and "relieve" my client at the end of the session. Most of of the session focuses on the rest of the body: scalp, back, feet, fingers, everything! I work for myself as an outcall service at upscale residences and hotels.
What don't you do?
I don't do what those in the sex industry call full-service or extras. This means sex of any kind, even oral! I like to do my work hands on only.
Why do guys want that? Why don't they just hire a hooker?
There are various reasons why men prefer bodyrub over escorts. Here are a few: totally safe from STDs, you don't have to do anything but lay there, the good-looking bodyrub girls are cheaper than the good looking escorts, you get a spa experience with candles/music/muscle rub (yes, men like that!), many men don't consider it cheating, etc.
How did you start?
When I graduated college I was struggling to stay on top of bills and ridiculous NY rent. I wasn't able to enjoy the city and I almost felt like moving to a more boring, but cheaper city. One day while looking at Craigslist for office jobs, I came across an ad for an S&M dungeon for $100 and hour. I joked to my then fiance that I would apply. He said, "why not? I had an ex girlfriend who did it and loved whipping men for money." I was surprised he didn't mind, so I got an interview and was hired the next day. It wasn't what I expected. It was mostly sensual roleplay (teacher/mommy/schoolgirl) and I was required to "help them" by hand at the end. I later discovered this isn't normal for a dungeon and I felt I was exerting a lot of psychological energy doing sometimes disgusting work for less money than a bodyrub parlor. I quit the dungeon and started working for a small parlor out of a high rise apartment. It was a perfect fit - the men were upper class, normal, and mostly good looking Wall St types. The environment was relaxing and I made far more money than the in the kink biz. Although I look back at the S&M work with repulsion, I certainly learned the art of keeping my clients obedient!
So... your husband knows what you do?
Yep! It's not something we really talk about in detail. We've been together over 5 years and have a very healthy monogamous relationship. I actually don't think I could do it without him. Because I'm married, I have no desire to slip into full-service work and I also feel safer being aware that he knows where I am just in case my client ends up being psycho. And yes, we keep our money separate. He has his own career.
Is it dangerous?
I've only come across annoying men. :) On top of my husband knowing where I am (I call him before & after a session) I have a pretty good screening process. I know there are risks, but I face more risks when I ride my bike in traffic.
Do you like it?
My only regret is I didn't start sooner! I love being able to make my own hours and pay for everything I need. I'm not in this for the long-run, so I'm saving to start my own home business and start a family (boring, right?).
I have more questions.
Go ahead and ask! :-D
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